Why do emo people want to be called scene now, the only thing I’ve scene from them is there suicide rate climbing
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A:How do you breathe through that little thing?
whats one thing gay people can't draw? a straight line.
What's Michael Jackson's favourite thing to do on guitar? Fingering A minor
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
People say that life is short I say... Life is the longest thing we ever do
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral
The corpse
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Your so poor people break into your house and leave things
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things
god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
