Thing jokes

Loneliness

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?

Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

Emo people

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

Guitar

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

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  • Elephant

    Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

    A: How do you breathe through that little thing?

    Memes

    Man

    A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

    A page of text detailing the life and work of Niels Bohr, a prominent figure in physics.

    Online dating

    As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

    Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

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  • Life

    People say that life is short.

    I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

    Hate

    I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3

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  • Meat

    Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

    They both routinely place meat in small buns.

    School

    Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.

    Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

    Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

    "Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.

    "Correct," says the teacher.

    The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

    Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.

    "Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.

    "Correct again," says the teacher.

    The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

    This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

    Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"

    Poor

    You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.

    Bread

    My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.

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  • Forgetfulness

    Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

    Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

    Patient: "What condition?"

    Stephen Hawking

    It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

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