What's Michael Jackson's favourite thing to do on guitar? Fingering A minor
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
People say that life is short I say... Life is the longest thing we ever do
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Your so poor people break into your house and leave things
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things
god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
whats the one thing me and the new years ball have in common
its not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this new years
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
what is the one thing cripples can't do......stand up comedy
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.