Thing jokes
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?
THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)
Past, present, and future walked into a bar... things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.