What’s the best thing about Alzheimer’s? You can hide your own Easter Egg’s!!
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Things you never want to do in jail - never piss off an inmate - don’t start fights with the cops - don’t drop the soap - don’t run away from the cops
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Where are average things manafactured? The satisfactory!
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimers." Boy: "What's that?" Grandpa: "What's what?"
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
what is one thing blind people and orphans have in common
they both cant see their parents
Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Im the second worst thing to happen to those orphans
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent
Q.) Why do orphans love elevators? A.) Because they're the only things to raise them
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes. I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments
Slavery and disciplinen it's kind of the same thing you get whipped for doing the wrong thing
What is boring? Talking about boring things
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
What did Tennessee?
Same thing Arkansas.
