Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Thing Jokes
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
