They jokes
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Memes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.