They jokes
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Memes
bro they got a better love story than me
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.