They jokes
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?