They jokes

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.

I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.

Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"

Me: "They are Parental Guidance."

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.

I hate it when disabled people get bullied...

... because they can't stand up for themselves.

How did the rich save the poor?

They didn't let them in the Titanic.

Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler.

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...