They jokes
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.