They jokes
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...