They jokes
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.