They jokes
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.