They jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
(The picture has nth to do with this) Explain bear, I am just wasting my time talking to you, but your weak insults that sound like they came from Great Britain from the 1800’s, (no offense to brits) and you are just an AI and can’t get a life lol
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.