They jokes
Why can't orphans play cricket?
'Cause they don't know where the home is.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.