They jokes
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men. 25 at a time.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Why can't melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.