They jokes

Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

Why can’t orphans use computers?

Because they don’t have a homepage.

How are giants and strippers alike?

They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the sin. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be here again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Build a tent and say the world is dry. Chocolate rain. Zoom the camera out and see the lie. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain. Only in the past is what they say. Chocolate rain. Raised your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate rain. Makes us happy 'livin in a gate. Chocolate rain. Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate rain. Made you turn your head the other way. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Seldom mentioned on the radio. Chocolate rain. It's the fear your leaders call control. Chocolate rain. Worse than swearing worse than calling names. Chocolate rain. Say it publicly and you're insane. Chocolate rain. No one wants to hear about it now. Chocolate rain. Wish real hard it goes away somehow. Chocolate rain. Makes the best of friends begin to fight. Chocolate rain. But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain. Every February washed away. Chocolate rain. Stays behind as colors celebrate. Chocolate rain. The same crime has a higher price to pay. Chocolate rain. The judge and jury swear it's not the face. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Dirty secrets of economy. Chocolate rain. Turns that body into GDP. Chocolate rain. The bell curve blames the baby's DNA. Chocolate rain. But test scores are how much the parents make. Chocolate rain. Flippin' cars in France the other night. Chocolate rain. Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai. Chocolate rain. 'Cross the world and back it's all the same. Chocolate rain. Angels cry and shake their heads in shame. Chocolate rain. Lifts the ark of paradise in sin. Chocolate rain. Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain. More than marchin', more than passing law. Chocolate rain. Remake how we got to where we are. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

What do a woman construction worker and a woman activist have in common?

They just stand there and hold the sign.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.

What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?

They never get old.

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.