Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
They Jokes
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didnβt; they invented an elevator.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Why donβt Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get βAβs.β
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they canβt find home base.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
