They jokes
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.