They jokes

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

Gas is expensive nowadays.

In the 1940s, they got it for free.

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

Haha, I fucked you over!

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.

What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!

Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Why did the orphan try to get hurt?

Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.

He looks around, no one is there.

Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

They had better reflexes than the trading center.

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.

Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.