They jokes
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Well.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)