Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
They Jokes
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
