They jokes
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.