They jokes

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

They had better reflexes than the trading center.

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!

Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.

Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.