They jokes
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
How do mountains see? They peek.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Memes
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.