They jokes
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.