They jokes
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?