Thereness jokes

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause there is no home to run to.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Queen.

Queen who?

You don't know the queen? You're crazy!

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not your.

Not your who?

Not your mama!