Thereness jokes
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.