Thereness jokes
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.