Thereness jokes
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they will tell their parents.
Why were the Twin Towers scared for dinner? Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Teacher: I am an orphan.
Students: Oof.
Teacher: Is there anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!