Thereness jokes
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Why are there no Jamaicans on the moon?
Because there's no space jam.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.