Thereness jokes

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

Why are there only 363 days for orphans?

Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.

Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?

A: There’s no signal.

A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.

He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!

(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Knock knock.

Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.

Grim Reaper who?

The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

What's a snake's favorite subject?

Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.