Thereness jokes

So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.

All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.

There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.

But there is no F.

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Control freak.

Con...

Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

"There can be only Juan!"

Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?

There isn't any parents on Roblox.

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Prince, are you there?

How is there evidence of climate change?

The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

Then it clicked.

"Ah, so that's how you died."