Thereness jokes

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

Knock knock.

Who is there?

WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."

"That's your lookout."

I finally know why my brain doesn't work!

On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.