Thereness jokes

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

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    • Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?

    There are Targets everywhere.

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    • "Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

    I am so disappointed in this race.

    Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

    What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

    There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

    What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

    A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

    The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

    The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

    The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

    The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

    At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

    The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

    There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

    They're making a new Alien movie.

    There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

    Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

    There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

    How is slavery different from Pokémon?

    There are different types of Pokémon.

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    • If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.