Thereness jokes

Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

  • 2

    • Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

    A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

    Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

    When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

    Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

    You have to tell this to a friend:

    There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

    Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?

    There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

    Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

    The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

    A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

    One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

    The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

    And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

    The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

    POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

    What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

    There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

    I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."