Thereness jokes

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.

Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.

A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.

White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"

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    • Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

    *New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

    *Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

    Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

    The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

    A: Knock knock.

    B: Who's there?

    A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.

    B: Package from Te-?

    A: BOOM!

    I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

    The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

    So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Banna.

    Banna who?

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Banna.

    Banna who?

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Banna.

    Banna who?

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Banna who?

    Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

    The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

    And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

    Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.

    Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.