Thereness jokes
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.