There jokes
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
Q: Why did Stevie Wonder drown?
A: Because there wasn't a lifeguard in sight.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Knock knock. Who's there? Child. Child who? Child Millissa!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"