Them jokes
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.