Them jokes
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting them back in the wheelchair
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.