Them jokes

Father heard his children scream,

so he threw them in the stream.

Saying, as he drowned the third,

"Children should be seen, not heard!"

My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.

But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come back.

How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?

He ducks when he gets to them.

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?

They/Them.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

What do women and appliances have in common?

If they don't work, hit them until they work.

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.

Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.

I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

Yo daddy so ugly he want them ice.