Them jokes
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What's the difference between pepper and salt? One of them is black and the other one is white.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.