Them jokes
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.