Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?
They both got them big parts.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
