Them jokes
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.