Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Them Jokes
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
