Them jokes
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!