The jokes

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

Why can't Asians play Baseball?

Because they ate the bat.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

The rope doesn't hang from itself.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.