The jokes
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.