The jokes

Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?

He wanted to mash potatoes!

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...

Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts.

Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?

A bath bomb.

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.