That jokes

What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?

Father-in-law.

Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!

Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!