That jokes

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

Person 2: “What happened?”

Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

Person 1: “I was in my car.”

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.