That jokes
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
That bloke Dean's a cunt!
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?
A transformer.
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!