That jokes
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.
That orphan behind me...
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"