That jokes
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Even the barber couldn't fix that hairline.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.