That jokes

For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

Why did the blind man fall down a well?

Because he couldn’t see that well.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?

Take him for a drag.

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

You're dumb, but that's not what she said.

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

What do you call a train that carries glue?

A glue-glue train!

What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

Scroll down for explanation.

Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.

This is American politics that is not true.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.