That jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:

Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!