That jokes

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.

So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.

Yo forehead so big that when I asked Vegeta how big it is, he said “IT’S OVER 9000!”

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

Bro, your head is so big that it shines so bright, it turns into a lightbulb.

Yo mama eats so much that she spends her whole life on the toilet.

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.

OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!

A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.

Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.

Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?

Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.

What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)

What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?

Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?

My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.

Even the barber couldn't fix that hairline.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"