That jokes

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

What is a pizza that an orphan can’t have?

A family pizza.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?

I wake up and I find myself on the floor.

Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?

Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.

Did you know that most women are left-handed?

That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.

I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.

I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.