That jokes

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.