That jokes

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.