That jokes

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"

The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!

What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!

Sorry, cringy joke.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.