That jokes

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

"Mine is 3 inches."

"That's not very lo..."

"From the ground."

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?

Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!

You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?

How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?

He performs fellatio on them.

What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...

Water... yup, water...