That jokes

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?

"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"

Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"