That jokes

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.

One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."

"How many men does your wife have?"

I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?

Leaving, walking.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?

Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.

Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.

Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.

I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"

Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.

That's why he married Courtney Love.

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.